Sephiroth Struggling
by Id
Summary: It's tough being a super villain nowadays, even for one as cool as Sephiroth. After finishing FFVII, Sephiroth struggles through multiple jobs just trying to be loved.


_Sephiroth looked up as Cloud flew down to him. He stood there, sword in hand, with his long, silver hair behind him. Cloud landed, and the final battle began.  
Sephiroth attacked, and then it happened. Cloud did Omnislash, his ultimate move, and the battle ended.  
Sephiroth pulled back as the fake blood dripped down his face..._

"Cut! That's a wrap! Beautiful acting job Sephiroth! And you look so hot with no shirt on! Okay, now we're ready to create the ending scene. Thanks Sephiroth. We'll make you explode with some special effects." Sephiroth grabbed a towel and wiped the red liquid from his face. He picked up his shirt and sunglasses, and put away his sword (Where it goes, no one knows). Cloud approached him.  
"Excellent job, Sephiroth. Great workin' with ya. What are you up to next? I got a deal with Fox after this is done."  
"...Nothing..."  
"Hmm? You're out of work?"  
"...Yes..."  
"Don't worry. Happens to the best of us sometimes. Once Final Fantasy 7 is out, I'm sure someone'll pick you up and throw you a good deal. Besides, it's in the contract you signed with Square, isn't it?"  
"...Yes..." Sephiroth put his shirt and sunglasses on, and left the studio. He went out to the parking garage and his beat-up '91 Geo, and drove to his small LA apartment.

Final Fantasy VII was released, and was a hit. Sephiroth instilled fear in the hearts of many. All of the major characters of Final Fantasy VII went on to other jobs; from Yuffie being a teen star, to Red XIII being the mascot for a Major League baseball team. Shortly after, Sephiroth was brought in as a new character on ER...

"Hello, I'm Doctor Greene. What's your name?"  
"...Dr. Seph I. Roth..."  
"Hello Dr. Roth." Suddenly, another doctor came in pushing a man on a gurney who was severely bleeding.  
"Dr. Greene! Just hit by a car, in critical condition!"  
"Okay! Dr. Roth, get an IV running!" Sephiroth stood there with an evil stare on his face.  
"Uh, Dr. Roth?" Sephiroth pulled a long sword from his large, baggy lab coat (Which somehow managed to be hidden in there), while holding his bad ass look, and cut the man in the gurney in half. The director instantly ran on stage.  
"Cut! What the hell did you do that for?"  
"...That's what I do..."  
"Not on this show! Get out of here! You're gone! You looked too much like a girl, anyway!" Sephiroth threw down his lab coat, picked up his sunglasses, and walked out to his '91 Geo and went to his apartment.  
"...Damn..."

Once more unemployed, Sephiroth called his agent.  
"...Hello..."  
"You? I heard about ER? What were you doing?"  
"...That's what I do..."  
"Dammit, Seph. You can't do that!"  
"...I need a new job..."  
"I'm working on it! But at the moment, no one needs a super villain like you!"  
"...Get me a job..." And Sephiroth hung up.

One month later, Sephiroth was asked to do a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"I will kill you now, Sephiroth. Hata la vista, baby." Arnold pulled out a large gun, and started shooting at Sephiroth. Sephiroth pulled his sword out of his medium sized coat (I don't quite understand the physics of that one) and used it to reflect off all of Arnold's shots. Then, Arnold ran out of ammo.  
"Damn! I'll be back." Arnold turned to run away, but Sephiroth chased him and leapt into the air. Arnold tripped, and fell to his knees, right as Sephiroth fell from above him, sword facing down, and ran his sword through Arnold's stomach. Arnold fell slightly forward, body hanging on the sword, and then his arms flew up as Sephiroth yanked it from his body, while looking evil. Then, Arnold fell to the ground, dead. The director ran on stage.  
"Cut! You just killed Arnold Schwarzenegger!"  
"...That's what I do..."  
"Get out of here! You're fired, girly boy!" Sephiroth put on his sunglasses, and drove to his LA apartment in his '91 Geo.

"...I need a new job..."  
"Dammit, Sephiroth! Can't you do anything right?"  
"...Shut up. Get me new job..."  
"Look, Seph, nobody wants you!"  
"...New job!..." And Sephiroth hung up on his agent once more.

Three months later, because of his incredibly good bishounen looks and incredible singing ability (Who knew?), Sephiroth was asked to join the newest boy band, 1rL4m3 (That's, "I r lame," for all you slow people out there).

The four other boy band members were singing loudly and dancing around the stage at their first concert, while Sephiroth stood there with an evil stare on his face. One of the others danced over to Sephiroth, and tapped him on the shoulder. When Sephiroth failed to respond, he smacked Sephiroth on the face to get his attention. At the same time, a girl from the audience managed to work her way on stage, and ran at Sephiroth.  
"Sephy, you're my hero!" Sephiroth quickly pulled the sword from his tight shirt and jeans (Where the hell does he keep that thing, anyway?), and sliced through the girl. Then, he turned on the other members of 1rL4m3 and chopped them all up. The owner of the band suddenly ran on stage as all the fans began to either scream or cry.  
"What the hell are you doing?!"  
"...That's what I do..."  
"Get out of here! You're through! And you looked so great and feminine in that outfit, too!" Seph leapt into the crowd, and chopped through all the girls trying to attack him. He then walked to the group's van as he put on his sunglasses. He drove the van down the street to where his Geo was parked, and then drove to his apartment.

"...What next?..."  
"Dammit, Seph, I have nothing else! You've killed too many people!"  
"...Call Square..."  
"Huh?"  
"...Contract..."  
"Oh yes! That's right! You tricked those morons! According to your contract, either you had to become successful after Final Fantasy 7, or you'd get another part in a Square game! I'll get right on it!"

And so, Sephiroth was back at Square, months before Final Fantasy VIII was finished. The director and story writers were lost.  
"We gotta throw him in somewhere! What're we gonna do with him?"  
"Wait a minute, he looks a lot like...I think I know what we can do with him! First though, he needs to be retrained."

And so, Sephiroth went through a rigorous retraining process...

Sephiroth went through speech lessons, and learned to talk differently. Also, he was trained to fight without his sword. Finally, he had many skilled designers putting on make up and getting his costume made. And then, the big day for the filming of his scene came...

_Squall approached the large doors, knowing what was beyond.  
"This is it...Ultimecia is here." Squall opened the door, and him and his allies walked through. Ultimecia was sitting on his...er, her throne when the three walked in.  
"...SeeD..."  
"SeeD......SeeD......"_ Ultimecia glanced off stage, where a director was waving his arms like mad, and shaking his head no. He...er, she had forgotten about the speech lessons.  
_"SeeD, SeeD, SeeD!"  
"Kurse all SeeDs."  
"Swarming like lokusts akross generations. You disgust me."  
"The world was on the brink of that ever-elusive 'time-kompression'."  
"Insolent fools!"  
"Your vain krusade ends here, SeeDs."  
"The price for your meddling is death beyond death."  
"I shall send you to a dimension beyond your imagining."  
"There, I will reign, and you will be my slaves for eternity."  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." _Ultimecia glanced again off stage, where the director was smiling and nodding his head.

The battle started, and soon enough, Squall and his friends beat Sephiroth...er, Ultimecia up.

"Cut! That's a wrap! Beautiful acting job Sephiroth! And you look so hot with that dress on! Okay, now we're ready to create the ending scene. Thanks Sephiroth. We'll make you explode with some special effects." Sephiroth grabbed his sunglasses, and started to walk back to his dressing room as Squall approached him.  
"Excellent job, Sephiroth. Great workin' with ya. What are you up to next? I got a deal with Disney after this is done."  
"Kurse you! I am doing nothing once I finish my krazy job here."  
"Hmm? You're out of work?"  
"Indeed I am, kursed SeeD."  
"Don't worry. Happens to the best of us sometimes. Once Final Fantasy 8 is out, I'm sure someone'll pick you up and throw you a good deal. Besides, it's in the contract you signed with Square, isn't it?"  
"I will destroy you, and send you to another dimension. Then, I will make you my slave, and I will rule over all!" Sephiroth then went to the changing room, and changed into a loose pair of jeans and a big T-shirt. He then put his sunglasses on, and left the studio. He went out to the parking garage and his beat-up 91 Geo, and drove to his small LA apartment.

Soon, Final Fantasy VIII was released. However, no one realized that Sephiroth was Ultimecia. Some even went as far to assume that Ultimecia was Rinoa. Again, Sephiroth was out of work, and completely unwanted. Except now, he spoke like a lamer, and started to wear dresses more often.

And the moral of the story is: give credit to Sephiroth, where credit is due.


End file.
